THE ART OF PIVOTING WITH ERIN LAIL
Erin with her tufting gun.
Erin Lail describes herself as an artsy kid from a young age. One of the first gifts she remembers is an art easel at age 6.
“I was just always very comfortable, I think, making art. And that’s kind of where I felt most creative and so all through school and everything, like grade school, I stayed artistic. I would dabble in just a bunch of different mediums.”
She even bought herself a tattoo machine at 17 with birthday money. After getting in trouble for using it on a friend, she never revisited this particular medium, finding it too permanent for someone feeling unsure of themselves.
“I would just psyche myself out like… What if I fuck up? What if I mess up?”
I asked Erin if she feels like she does that with other art as well.
“100%. I think I… try to be a perfectionist on stuff and that’s hard to do in art because it should be something that you’re able to ebb and flow with so I think there was a long time where I was like ‘I need to do something perfectly’. I think that would exhaust me or frustrate me if I wasn’t able to do something perfectly. I do think I’ve tried to change that outlook and just… be okay with messing up. I think that’s what it is. I think I’m scared to mess up.”
Various macrame art over the years.
“I THINK THAT’S WHAT IT IS. I THINK I’M SCARED TO MESS UP.”
“I went into college knowing I wanted to do art but what type of art? I didn’t know. I think that has been a big theme throughout my life… I feel like you’re always pressured into having to know exactly what you wanna do… I just could never understand how they knew what box they wanted to put themself in. And that’s what it felt like… A box. I ended up graduating with a degree in art management and non-profit organization… I was able to take the creative classes but there was a bigger focus on entrepreneurship; on working in a non-profit; and… that’s actually what got me to Winston. I did an art curatorial internship at what was then known as SECCA (South Eastern Central Contemporary Art) but is now NCMA (North Carolina Museum of Art - Winston Salem).”
SECCA in Winston Salem is a non-profit art museum so that ticked both boxes for Erin: curation and non-profit organization.
“It did,” Erin sighed. “I thought that’s what I wanted… to be an art curator because I liked the idea of being able to tie different arts together to present a theme.” However, her role at her internship didn’t end up giving her much leeway with getting to try her hand at curation. She told me “there never seemed to be an overarching theme to my internship.”
It seems like during that time the organization was going through a lot of changes with management and funding so this may have been the reason they underutilized Erin’s talents.
“But while I was there, it was kind of nice to get a glimpse into the art scene of Winston Salem. I thought it was really cool to see the program side of it. I was able to work a little bit with their volunteer manager and just how ingrained the community is in a lot of different ways and a lot of different organizations in Winston. But I did my internship there. Nothing really stuck. And I think it was the age old thing of, okay, now, you have an art degree, what are you going to do?”
Erin’s felt work process including her supervisor, Punk (bottom left).
“okay, now, you have an art degree, what are you going to do?”
“So I end up staying here. I kind of scrambled around after college. Which, you know, everybody does. I was a barista for five years. Did this, did that.”
When COVID hit, it did allow Erin more time for creative freedom. She started making macrame pieces and putting them up online. “I just was really interested in doing something with my hands. …I knew my grandma had done macrame… it just felt very therapeutic and it felt like I could make really beautiful things with it.” She made coasters and various wall hangings. Once things started to open back up again, Erin started to do art markets.
“I remember my first one! I was so nervous. It was raining. It was raining in a little alley next to a bookstore in Winston. It was fun!” She laughed. The art markets helped her feel more connected to the community, being part of the art scene.
With the support of her husband, Erin was able to try her hand at being a full time artist. Her art began to evolve into tufting things like rugs, wall hangings, pillows, and coasters. She also began to make embroidery art and incorporate felt into her pieces. Her Etsy was starting to gain momentum. She was doing multiple markets on the weekends. She began making Pillsbury cookie dough inspired pillows which were instantly a hit. Hundreds of orders came in.
Erin showing off her birth control sleeves.
“It was all I could do to keep up with my sales. I was getting overwhelmed.”
She had no time to actually create when she was just pushing out these pillows constantly. Her success slowly became burnout. Monetizing her creativity became exhausting.
“I think if I had slowed down and was able to do that as a hobby instead of as a primary source of income, there could have been more longevity in that... I still do want to dabble in it. I just was like, damn, I can't keep up with this.”
It was time for her to pivot again. She found a non-profit job that she genuinely enjoys but also gives her freedom to run her Etsy on the side, selling the things she actually wants to make- things that make her happy to create.
“It’s a real full circle moment! I now have a job at a local non-profit and that really helps me feed into staying connected in the community, staying connected to Winston, doing something that I feel nurtures where I live, and I’m still able to make Etsy’s… I think just doing online works best for me right now because I’m not spending my whole Saturday out at a market. I’m able to take time and refresh.”
More birth control sleeves!
I asked Erin how she felt about staying in Winston after all these years.
“Winston is cool as fuck. We've got so many different cool organizations, so many different cool, small businesses. The food is awesome. The people are really cool. I think there's just so many different walks of life in Winston. There's something for everybody… Winston is cultivating a city of creativity and niche businesses are encouraged and there’s such a big art scene that it almost… forces it up, you know?”
Erin has found a community she loves. As for her art, Erin didn’t fail; she adapted. She pivoted when it was time and she still creates. She found balance.
“Creativity is so so important. If I wasn’t creative, if I wasn’t making art, I think I would feel suffocated… Being creative is what keeps me sane as a person.”
Check out some of Erin’s art on her instagram: @es.knots
And her Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ESKnotsAndCo
